L.U.R.V.E

Feeling…perhaps the most essential part of a relationship. With feeling to each other, it has what it takes to survive against overwhelming odds. And that’s what I think, though it may be naïve of me to think that’ll be easy to maintain a relationship just based on feeling alone. Well, I think there are still a bunch of naïve people like me in this world.

You naïve people, let me give you guys some advise; just let me be your Doctor Lurve for a while. Heh.

Feeling is not enough to maintain a relationship; feeling is just the initiator of a relationship. Deny it if you want, but why we start a relationship if we don’t have feeling for each other, right? To maintain a relationship, we need effort and commitment; at least that’s what I had been told by a girl. I’m sure feeling don’t last forever; I mean it do last if we give in some effort and commitment. But if we don’t give a damn about it; let’s be prepared for the worst: break.

Let’s not leave out one more freaking important element; luck. Believe it or not, luck is the most troublesome element. Why? Because we can’t control it; luck doesn’t always appear. It sometimes come when you don’t even need it or vice versa when you need it the most. However to me, luck is only another supplementary element; better stick with more crucial one: effort and commitment.

The word break might sound tiny to most of the people, as they’ll eventually move on with time. Nevertheless I don’t like the saying “Time heals all wounds.” It is not true. Years later, people can still be terribly sad and miss their loved one.

Scars remain unhealed.

So the next time you planning to say this word; try to think thoroughly about your past, present and future being with him/her before you really decide.


Love,
Doctor Lurve

Starless Starless Night

It is already late night, my living room’s grandfather clock rang; a sign of just after twelve o’clock. It’s time to doze to most people but the night is still young for me. Another lonely virgin night without accompany again. Late night burger stalls, mamak stalls, McD and those nearby 24 hours seven eleven convenient stall are already my usual hanging out place, not because there are close to my house; but it’s because they open till early in the morning. Even the employees there recognize my face; “The usual?” is the only thing they asked.

“Yes, the usual”

I usually have it take away; doesn’t really enjoy the feeling of wondering outside my house alone. I straight away off to my home once my take away done. Just reach my house, my dog barked at me once I open my gate; every time. I usually have my take away in front of either the television or my desktop, but not tonight. On my way home earlier, I realized the clear dark sky with the half revealed moon shining brightly on top of me; that trigger me to eat my supper at my balcony.

It’s indeed a dark sky; only a bright moon with no stars. It just seems like the moon alone in this dark sky; nothing else. I remembered once I told a girl that when there are no stars in the sky at night, I’m in a good mood. But I’m sure I’m no way near good mood now; not even close. But now I know why I love the night, it’s quiet. Looking at the empty dark sky and the chilling wind wafting around me; seem that nothing in this world can bother me, seem that everything can be ignored and I genuinely love that moment.

As I was enjoying the moment, my friend loneliness try to keep me accompany. “No, thanks” I reached my phone, get to my contact list and make a call. I know I’m an egocentric bastard because I only look for accompany when I’m all alone. Fortunately she still awake, we chatted.

It’s a long chat; it last about one and half hours. The call was pricey and my ear almost dead beat but that call just makes my day (in this case: night). Listening to your silly crappy story, your uncontrollable laughter, your overwhelming kepoh curiosity, your grumble (mostly university life dissatisfaction) and your gossip seriously brighten up my day (in this case: night). Now I understand why there’s no star in the sky tonight; I’m in a good mood already. Thank you.

“Adieu loneliness” I whispered to myself.

The peaceful night with a pleasant long distance phone call; that’s just what I need. Frankly speaking I can actually talk forever with her; at a certain extent, I was thinking to chat overnight with her. Then of all the sudden, conscience strikes my mind; she has her life to live with and so do I. And no matter how egocentric bastard I can be, it’s wrong to mess up her life just because I have messed up mine. That’s when I have to say goodbye.

Goodbye.

The Mango Rainbow Tales

I have been wondering how to end this fairy tales. No story would be complete without a happy ending. Well, here it goes...

"And this two best friends live happily ever after for many many years to come."

~~~THE END~~~

Three Pink Roses

There are many reasons to give a flower; there are millions more reason why it’s a must for a man to give his loved one flowers. I don’t quite understand why this state of affair can crop up. I just don’t understand why guys can chuck away his entire ego and his pride; to march across the street with a bouquet of flower?

Let’s walk down the memory lane, back to the mankind history; the emperor, the king, the ruler is by and large a man. This simply means that their pride, their ego, their dignity and their honor is supposed to be above anyone else. The bottom line is they’re on top of the world (at least they think so) and anyone who try to get on top of them usually doesn’t have any good ending. These man kill and conquer cold-bloodedly without any tears and sympathy; indeed cruel and pitiless men. Do you think that they’ll give flower to their loved one? No way!

Nonetheless why does King Shah Jahan build Taj Mahal for his favourite wife, Mumtaz Mahal? Then why do some emperors of China sacrifice their throne for their wife? Then somehow I realize even these top-of-the-world man sometimes show their soft side; the caring and the loving side. No doubt, even king need love and of course showing love to their loved one is already part of their duties; men duties.

Okay, back to the reality; today is indeed a very special day for me. I’m thinking to do something out of the ordinary; something which I never done before; something what a typical gentleman will do. Coincidentally my Cameron Highland aunt comes to visit. As usual with her Cameron Highland’s fruits and vegetables; but today with something extras: ROSES!! I smiled.

Now getting her a flower is already on top of my list. I begged my aunt for the roses; three pink roses to be exact because three roses bring deeper meaning than millions of roses. I had been wrapping, decorating and involved in a lot of flower arrangement activities; but this is the very first time I’m really doing it for myself. I’m already twenty one but this is the first time I’m giving flower to someone. Yes I know, I had been saying that giving flower to girl is a silly thing, just a waste of money and bla bla bla; but let me be silly for once: today.

Giving her the flower is actually not the toughest thing to do. Walking it down the street with a bouquet of flowers is the real nightmare of all man. People tend to stare at you for so long that your every step seems so weighty and your every movement had become so stiff, that you seem like marching instead of walking. Not only that, every now and then you can actually listen to people’s chuckles, giggles and maybe some people calling you Mister Romantic on the way. Being the only guy holding a bouquet of flower along the street is indeed something extraordinary; humiliating to be exact. There goes all my ego and my pride; to the gutter. Even in this state of chaos, there is some aunty who cheers for me. Thanks aunty!!

To be honest, till now I still don’t understand why I’m willing to take all the risk and the probability of being tease or even critic by my friends; especially you-know-who. Then why I still continue? Maybe it’s really worth a try or maybe I just love her too much.

But I can assure you that it’ll worth all the tease and humiliation, when she smiles. Hopefully she will. Wish me luck, on the way now.

P/S: Happy Birthday Mum.

What’s Next?

Do you believe that music keep some of your memory? I don’t. I never do.

I had a sleepless night again; this is already so many times in row. Whenever I’m not out with my friends, or whenever I’m all alone by myself; then I’ll start to think. Frankly speaking, I can’t help myself not to think. It’s so grey and everything so blur. I know I’m not the saddest guy on earth, but I just can’t help to think about the future; should I say what I’m going to do next.

I had been peppered with the questions “What’s next?” numerous times but I really have no idea, even though I endeavor; but I don’t sense any answer either.

The only way to stop thinking is to keep myself tiring, keep my brain running or force myself to sleep. This few days of battling with insomnia, I found out that hot milks help a lot; wine help even better; and I wonder will sleeping pills help greater?

I’m sitting here in my living room, the sound of my grandfather clock tickling and the sound of my ceiling fan is so clear. With nothing to do, I wanted to keep myself busy; I switched on my laptop and checked my every comedies; Russell Peter, Stephen Chow, Robin Williams; famous comedians that had been keep me laughing for this few days. Nevertheless the same jokes never work twice, and eventually they have lost their charms; somehow I don’t laugh anymore, not even a chuckle.

Sitting here all by myself, the loneliness finally attacked me. Everyday there are bunch of friends being around me, they keep me accompanied; there is no way I going to be lonely. Finally I’d feel lonely now, in fact I feels dismal. Thinking that some music will sweep away my loneliness, I clicked on my Winamp; it starts playing from my previous history; the song that I last heard.

And it’d bring back a lot of memory.

To be honest, it’s still raining here; never stopped. But you force the sun out, and somehow the rain got to end. Nobody understands why I love the rain; the scent of it, the aftermath cooling wind, the sound of it drumming around and I just love to watch the raindrop touches the ground. Yet the rain is only temporary, when the sun is out; everything back to reality. It’s just like a dream.

If it’s just a dream, I really want to get up; please wake me up, it’s so suffering here.

Dear, I wish that you can wake me up and pull me out of this misery. And you did.


I’d believe now and I made a big mistake recalling the song.

Living de Red Wine

By now you’ll have heard that red wine in moderation helps protect against heart disease, but the healing benefits don’t stop there. Some says it help in controlling the cholesterol level as well.

That’s all the science about red wine. I maybe still new to this red wine stuff but no matter what you’re taking whether it’s beer or stout, gin or tonic, red or white wine, vodka or whiskey, rum or sake; it’s the same thing. If it comes to tasting or enjoying, we never talk about the science but we talk about the art of it instead. I’m pretty sure many do wonder now, what this guy is crapping about; then please give me your next few minutes for me to explain.

The science is all about the figure, the theory, the safety precaution, the physic, the chemistry and it’s all about the statistical value. We somehow need a precise calculation and a powerful theory before we can really take pleasure in something. Won’t that a bit troublesome? It’s just a red wine!!

The art on the other hand is all about the feeling and the non-scientific judgment. To fully enjoy something, sometimes we really need to abandon the physic or the law of the world. I mean the gravity still applies, but when it’s art; even gravity sometimes need to be ignored. Just imagine the delicate aroma and refreshingly uplifting taste of the red wine; and get drunk after a few dozen. What’s the science in that? What’s wrong with every red wine lover? Get high but you might get puke after that. Why? Just because they feel right, that’s already worth all the pain and puke.

Red wine; I really don’t know how to relish this dry-blood-like-drink. It’s dry, a bit sour, alcoholic and red in color. Frankly speaking, I really don’t know how to enjoy this red wine. I still remember when the first time I purchase a bottle of red wine but to my foolishness I didn’t purchase the opener. That’s why I had a tough time fighting with the bottle all night. And once again to my foolishness, I didn’t let it open for a period of time so that the red wine can ‘breathe’. I just take it spontaneously and with all the gases, it makes me dizzy BIG TIME. Silly huh? But I enjoy it, seriously.

Art; something that we cannot understand, only people whom truly in love with it able to appreciate. I may still don’t understand what’s the science and art behind this wine. Nevertheless I think I really fall in love with this drink. It’s sour now but I’m sure it’ll be sweeter later. That’s red wine; and it coincidentally has something to do with my life now. Life is like a red wine; it’s sour, but if you can appreciate the art of it; it’ll be sweet.

Science is indeed important, without science there’ll be no improvement in our life. However, if one really wanted to enjoy his/her life; he/she sometimes need to abandon this statistical value. Treat life as an art subject, forget about the physic; just let your feeling and instinct lead you. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your life to the maximum if you can dump all the scientific worries aside.

I have already started to appreciate red wine; as well as my life and my love.

Have you?

Forgive

Mum tell me that life's all about forget and forgive.

Sincerely I still haven't forget what you did and I don't think I'll be able to forgive you; at least not for now.

But the thing is I really couldn't treat and assume everything you did was just a dream; a nightmare. Nonetheless, I promise you that I'll learn how to forgive.

Dad, Happy Father's Day!! Let's celebrate it together next year.

That's a father-son promise.

Your eldest son,
Mels