Monkey’s Backo

Internship over, report nicely done and what’s next? Seem like this is the end of my busy working life; at least for a while now. Looking back at my previous entries, I have to say it seem like I’m having a very hectic life. Well, not to say a very hectic one but just as much as necessary to make you cripple. Laugh all you want, but when you’re on a tight schedule with your supervisor rushing for the result every day; even an elephant also beh tahan la. Now I’m glad that all this ended.

But surprisingly as much as I want it to end, there’s a part inside me that want to extend the very last day of my internship. Everyone seems so dull on my last day of TXPO. Yes I admit; I felt reluctant too. You can’t blame me; I’m there working everyday for the past six months, sure got feel one ma. But can you believe it; I endure the six months internship without skipping any of it. To be frank, I myself am bolt from the blue.

I’m being exposed to so many things during this internship; but there is one that really amazed me: the life of an engineer. I believe many of my coursemate are aware of this now, we can actually see our future path as an engineer; work-sleep-work-sleep and no play. By the norm of the society, engineer is a well respected profession, let’s face it, our parent want us to be a doctor, lawyer or an engineer. But many didn’t know, engineer is just a name. Well, if you don’t know, then let me enlighten you further about this. Most of the engineers that I encounter work as any other normal worker. I mean a degree is a degree, doesn’t matter whether it’s four years degree or three years degree, an engineering degree or a normal science degree; a degree is a degree. So why study for a year more? That I still couldn’t answer you for now. Maybe with this engineer title, at most we can get extra salary, not?

Being in the industry for almost six months, somehow, really change my perspective of our grade. Of course, I can’t deny that a good result student will normally get all the priority but there’s still a lot of X-factor to be considered. When you send your whole resume, the only thing matter is the result and the photo. Like what I said, a good result almost equivalent to good job prospect. However with a good photo, even sometimes with a not-so-good result, you too will be granted with a good job prospect. Why? Because working is already very unexciting, therefore it’s nice to have something beautiful to look at. That’s some of the eye opener there. So the next time you’re going to take photo for your resume, forget about formal passport photo; go for beauty makeover photo instead.

Another X-factor that I encounter is the opportunity factor. Like what Mr.K say “when the opportunities come, grab it!” Although I have million things that I disagree with Mr.K but this time I can’t further disagree. In fact, to an extent, I have to say that pointer doesn’t affect anything after you’re employed. You may be a full A’s student but when you start working, nobody going to care about how many A’s you get. Face it, you still get screw by your boss, tittle-tattle by your colleague and threaten by the HR department (your salary is in their hand); if you think getting full A’s is your Kelvar vest then by now you should realize that your boss is using grenade at all times. Like it or not, you’ll still die.

Nonetheless first time I agree on something you said: “When the opportunities come, grab it!”

P/S: Today is another important date, yet I still manage to overlook it. Sorry.

Highway Fun

I have always wanted to update my blog but there’s just one slight problem: I’m just too busy to write. More often than not, when I have inspiration or a topic to write, I’ll instantly turn on my laptop then jot down whatever I have in my head. But these days, I can’t help but to just let the inspiration flee without any attempts to jot them down. Few days later when I feel like writing; my mind goes blank. That’s if I still have time to turn on my laptop. But not today, I’ll korek kaw kaw (dig back hard) what I always wanted to write. Here is one when I’m on my way back to my hometown.

WARNING: This will be an extremely long blog (hopefully long enough to bored your day), so bring along your friends, dogs, ipod or whatsoever that be able to entertain you for the next fifteen minutes or so because this blog may just bore you to tears half way.

Here it goes…

Well, I can consider a regular to our country highway; PLUS for the reason that I had been driving home a lot with my brand new 7 series B- *cough* BM- *cough* Bee-re-dou *cough* Perodua *ahem* this semester due to my internship in Penang. The journey back and forth from Penang to my hometown is quite a killer (boring), but luckily there’re forever some driver whom never fail to amuse me. I’m sure most of you guys have experience something called the high headlight signal on the highway. In fact, I’m so used to this HHS (High Headlight Signal) as it’s already a norm among the regulars there. If you guys are still new to this highway gizmo, this HHS simply suggests that “You’re driving like a granny, please move your fat ass aside!” or “You’re moving like my ****, get lost!”; more or less that way.

All along the way back, I can't help but to realize there are (Yes there are! no kidding) different categories of cars that will give you a HHS, for instance:

The Sport Cars

This is the most frequent cars that give HHS. I don’t blame them in fact I think that they should give HHS every time when there’s car blocking their way for the reason that their car is put up to be fast. They're like superstar car, compare to our cars. They have those super sport specifications; in fact their acceleration pedal is so sensitive even an extra pound will accelerate the car by 100 km/hour. They come with hardcore engine with lots of horsepower, almost formula one tires and not to mention classy aerodynamic look. Only moron won’t try their car to full potential and where is the best place to try that if not the highway. If I were to have a chance driving a sport car, I’ll even drift all the way.

Furthermore, they pay a higher road tax as in much higher road tax; therefore they must do HHS. Face it! That’s the only place where they can show off their car. I understand why a sport car giving HHS because their paycheck is on the line. Yes their paycheck is on the line, unless they’re some lucky bastard who has a millionaire dad. Just imagine how much the fuel consumption is when they’re speeding at 250 km/hour. Just imagine how much they need to pay for their speed trap summon and car maintenance? Basically, they pay to be fast, so why stop them? So the next time you see a sport car roaring behind with their fancy HHS, just move aside and drive to the nearest speed trap booth to congratulate them on their new summon.

The Fast and Foolish

This is the class that I disgust the most. Honestly, I think we should start educated this fast and foolish guy. It’s time to educate them, just let my blog be the first to educate them. Dear racers-wanna-be, no matter how great you modify your car; yes you may have a brand new racer tires, a new Nike rims, a futuristic body kits, a new Puma cup holder, an Adidas sunglasses holder, a fake speedometer, a fake turbo button, a Caltex free pillow but a proton is a proton. I mean let’s just face it, you think by sticking a Mitsubishi sticker on your proton, somewhat and somehow your proton will transform into Lancer? If that so, I suggest you guys stick Air Asia logo on your car instead; you might as well save the toll fees.

This is what happens to you guys; you alter almost everything in the car, but one thing you missed out: the engine. Yes the heart and soul of the car. I have seen many racers-wanna-be car doing HHS even kilometers away. Of course, as a good driver I’ll move aside; but those cars take forever to overtake me (that’s the deal only if I slow down). What I don’t understand is “What’s friggin' wrong with you?”. Your car may look like a sport car but your engine is the same as mine, that’s the fact; so the next time you trying to do HHS, do your math and put your ego aside first.

I understand that car customization is a hobby and no one is going to stop you guys’ creativity. But there are just some people that take this customization into another level. They modify their cars to look like a sport car and they expect people to see their car their way.

Mel: Bang, cantik nampak kereta bang. Kereta apa bang?
Bang: Mitsubishi. (respond within 0.001 sec)
Mel: Betul ke? Nampak macam Prot..
Bang: Mitsubishi. (respond within 0.001 sec)
Mel: Er..
Bang: Mitsubishi. (respond within 0.001 sec)
Mel: Tapi..
Bang: Mitsubishi. (respond within 0.001 sec)
Bang: Mitsubishi. (respond within 0.001 sec)
Bang: Mitsubishi dan jangan tanya lagi.
Mel: Model apa?
Bang: Wira.

There may be no other word to best describe them: P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.

The Hunter

Then here come the small bullies which are constantly hunting for chances to HHS you. There’re time even the slow cars need to be on the right lane for certain purpose; that’s the time these hunter coming out to tail you from behind with their non-stop HHS. I believe my PA teacher once calls this a ‘rendah diri’ syndrome; so far that only happen to some of my classmate (*cough* Theamy, JL, KC *cough*) but who know, it may spread. They’re very desperate driver who stroll around the highway every weeks to find their victim. Whenever you’re on the fast lane, they will HHS you until you give way then they will slow down to let you takeover them for another chance to HHS you again. Darn those persistent barbarian!

The Big Cars

Then here come the hulk’s car. By the sound of it we already know, big equal slow. You may paying more for your road tax, you may having a bigger engine, a bigger fuel tank but face it; big is predestined to be slow. There’s a reason why your speed limit is below ordinary car speed in the highway and what’s that? Because you’re big and you take two lanes at one time, that’s the reason! Big car has an equivalent big ego too, they think that they don’t deserve to be behind small cars, hence they HHS. Dear Big-Drivers, I’m not trying to say anything bad about you here; but doesn’t almost all big cars are family cars? Slow down a bit won’t harm you and your family, don’t they? Yes I know you have bloody hell hulk-like horsepower, but that’s to balance your elephant load, not? If big cars are meant to be fast; how comes Alonso not driving a Hummer in F1 race instead?

As what Spiderman told us, “Big power comes with big role and responsibility”; which is to protect the smaller car. This is just my suggestion but heck, the next time you saw a 7 series Perodua (which is so coincidentally to be my car) on the road. Try move in front to shield all the wind resistant. You know, without the wind resistant, I actually save a lot too. It’s a win-win situation, you got somebody to protect and I protected my wallet.

The Car Insurance Claimer

I thought that this people don’t exist, but fact proves me wrong. There’re actually moron driving so near, so near that we can actually send files via Bluetooth. No kidding, man.

Mel: Hand me the tissue please.
Friend: Opss! Just finished.
Mel: Darn!
Friend: Never mind! Here you go.
Mel: Where did you get this?
Friend: From the car behind.

That’s the situation, man. I think they’re in some insurance scam doohickey. Scary!

The thing is, the car behind always have the upper hand. They can HHS us whenever they want, and we can’t do anything but to take those HHS with open hand. Yes there is brake light, but it’s so powerless that it won’t make any impact like a HHS does. Yes, brake signal will slow down the car behind, but they will continue to tail you with more HHS.

Nonetheless, the good news is you can prevent it. Here are a few ways to signal the cars behind which is as brunt as a HHS. It's easy; just firmly hold your car steering, make sure that the driver behind is able to see you via the car mirror, then turn around and..

“KNNCCB! YOU’RE FOLLOWING TOO NEAR”

Or simply by putting sticker behind beforehand like this:

“I’M SAD, I JUST FAILED MY DRIVING TEST TODAY”

“I DON'T FEEL LIKE DRIVING, MY GIRLFRIEND WANT A BREAK UP NOW”

And I'm sure all drivers behind you give a face like "WTF":


and won't dare to HHS you anymore. Hehe.

Lou Beh

It’s already two in the morning and I still couldn't sleep, must be sleeping too much in the noon. Try to hypnotize myself by staring at the ceiling; hopefully my eye will get heavy and doze off. But as much as I gaze, there’s no help but making me to recall all those old memory instead. I think of him.

‘Lou Beh’ simply means father in Hainamese; that’s what I call my old man. I know many of you call your father: father, dad, daddy or whatsoever but for me I’m too used to call him ‘beh’ more than anything else. I still remember once in the primary school, my class teacher asked what we call our father and I’m one of the lucky one to answer. “Saya panggil bapa saya Beh" (I call my father, Beh) and the whole class laugh because they thought that I called my father a bear. Nonetheless, I didn’t mind at all; not even once because he’s my only one unique dad.

To be honest, he’s not a super-dad; in fact, it’s true to say he’s a…let’s just say he’s a below average-dad. I never take his promise for real because I learned my lesson so much until I treat all his promises a-never-come-true statement. But there’s once, he really did turn up for my basketball competition like he promised; although he showed up at the last few minutes and I was resting on the bench but undeniably I’m smiling from the bottom of my heart. For once in my life, I feel glad to be his son. After the match ended, he still complaining all the way because he can’t see me in action, but in his heart, I know he’s more than proud for coming to support his own son.

My dad is slapdash, inconsiderate, and stubborn; and not forgets to mention he likes to take control. I mean what kind of father would take his son to an Indian eatery when his son is having a high fever? The answer would be my old man, ladies and gentleman. "Curry can cure fever, curry make you sweat, son" he said. Is that a joke? But please don't joke with me when I'm having high fever, dad! He’s that kind of man who forced you to take what he thinks is the best for him; yes in this case he think what’s best for him is best for you too. That’s my father, the most stubborn person I ever met. Sometimes I’d ask why he can’t just act like a normal father; like my friend’s daddy. I asked that question for twenty two years yet I still couldn’t respond. But no doubt he’s always there when I need him and no doubt, of all the sons, he loves me the most.

‘Lou Beh’ how long have I not calling you this, dad? I can’t call to mind, I asked myself numerous of times but I really can’t recall. Since the last fight, I barely remember when the last time I call you that. Even the sound of it feels so unfamiliar now. Our conversation won’t last for minutes, and frequently it’s overflowing with silent till at one point, both of us gave up and hang up.

Elders’ word won’t be wrong, I understand that, dad. All along I had been seeking for you and mum help whenever I need it and I know elders’ word can’t be wrong, for the reason that you all have experience it firsthand yourself. Like the old saying “from the horse’s mouth itself”. I respect every word from you and mum because I know you guys want the best for me. But dad, as stubborn as you are; there’s sometimes even elders doubt about their action and words; and dad, there’s sometimes even the elders need help from their young one too.

Beh, I’m contented with my life now. Despite what you decision, I still wish to stay. It's time to let me to walk alone, Beh.

It’s a Good Thing It Only Last 6 Months

Despite many say internship is a place to have fun, yet it’s a good thing it only last 6 months nevertheless. Don’t be perplexed, I’m more than blissful to work at my company; industry training is a place with heaps of fun where you meet awesome supervisors, colleagues and a totally new working environment. For those of you who always wanted to see the world, this might be the perfect opportunity. But trust me, working life is just another stage of your studying life; in fact sometimes I feel that studying is more trouble-free. The only thing good in working is the cash; other than that, its way too complicated than studying life (mostly due to internal affairs).

I’m half way through my industry training now and like the famous proverb: ‘so far so good’. I’m working in the research department so it’s common to be in a stress atmosphere. Even sometimes I too will feel fed up when I can’t obtain the result I wanted; that’s just another sad side of industry training but the most important thing is that you learn. Frankly speaking, I learn a lot. I learned that communication is the utmost vital criteria to get things work out. You know what you want but nobody else knows about it unless you voice it out; be brave. Stress management is vital too; don’t ever show your temper in front of your boss unless you’re ready to quit. Even when the boss asked you, just tell him you’re fine.

Since I’m so contented with my internship, what’s the fuss?

The ruckus ensues just after working hours. Every time when it’s the time to go home, I feel sibeh dulan. I have to come clean here; I’m damn sien with them. Not normal sien, it’s indescribable sien; maybe no words can describe it. Oh wait! Maybe this will describe it all, it’s like babysitting a five years old kids who keep on asking you the same stupid questions plus the next door ah ma who keep telling you your neighbor affairs even you don’t give a damn about it plus the postman keep on banging your door for the letter that’s not yours plus the uncountable ignoring missed calls plus the nuclear silo generating their shit just right next door plus world war two taking place outside your house and the final grand slam: your roommate screaming shit in the house. That will do, that explain everything. Really beh tahan at some point I feel like sealed my room with sound proof or better still scream proof wall.

Sometimes, I think she taken the word share into another level. Other than sharing the house, due to her thoughtfulness she thought we might as well wanted to share her no-reason-scream. If your high pitch scream is as beautiful as Mariah or Celine, I’m more than honor to listen to it. But if it’s from you then no thank you.

I understand why baby scream when they’re hungry, they need attention. What I don’t understand is why a fully grown adult scream when they’re…eh…bored? tension? hungry? no reason?

P/S: I need to apologize for the usage of some words which may offend you guys. Nonetheless, like what I said, that’s maybe the most suitable words to describe. Simple advices, knows your friend, knows your roommate and differentiate wisely. Luckily it’s a good thing it only last 6 months.

We’ll Always Be Here

This blog entry is above all dedicated to my brother, Keith.

Dear Keith, maybe you won’t ever come to this blog for your entire life, but hope is always there; hence I blogged this hopefully that one day you might by chance come to this blog and learn that we’ll always be here for you no matter what; supporting, motivating and to go through this horrible nightmare with you.

I know sometimes it’s awkward, in fact true to say shameful to have thing out of our control. I know you had tried your best and that’s what really matter; you did your very best but still you couldn’t get what you wish for, that’s normal because that’s life. Despite what people said, I believe that you already had a rough idea how you’re going to face the upcoming. If you ever feel that you’re useless, you’re wrong, BIG TIME wrong. You are nowhere near useless, but if you insisted; then do think in my shoe, I as your brother will be more useless for not guiding you yet wanting you to live your life my way. I would more likely be the one to blame for all this nonsense and for being a useless brother.

Dear brother, I have a handle on one thing recently. I can’t force you to live your life my way or our way. You had your dream, your standpoint, your way of life and it’s not fair for us to tell you what to do with it. I had been always disagreed with your idea and your dream for the reason that I don’t think that you’ll had a better upcoming than what I had set for you. All I wished for is I don’t want you to follow my slip-up; I want you to be able to crawl out of this miserable circle. Nevertheless, I never thought of what you really want. Maybe due to this, I’m never able to crawl out of this circle.

All along, I always had faith in you; you are that kind of brother that I never need to be worry of. Your stubbornness, your determination, your guts is what I really admire of. When you fix on to do one thing, no matter what it take; you’ll accomplish it. When you made up your mind, no one is able to change it. That’s the leader quality that I never had. You and I are diverse in many ways, sometimes I really wonder, are you really my brother? I prefer the safe route but you forever will choose the opposite route. Despite knowing that we are two different people, I still asked you to take the safe route; my route, for the reason that I think that’s the best for you. I was wrong, that’s the best route for me but not you. Consequently, you had endured years of boredom-ness because of my stubborn thinking. Sorry Keith.

Like what mum always told us, “Nobody can blame us if we know that we tried our best”. Since you already did your best, no one is there to blame or to say a bad thing about you. Mum always told us to stand up straight even if the sky is collapsing; so brother, no point to ignore our mother teaching now right?

I know it’s a tough time for you now. Escaping is not the solution, it’s time to stand up straight and voice out what in your mind and we’ll talk about it. This time, I will let you to choose the route you want; I promise that I’ll only listen and not to oppose. Don’t let our old folks worry about us okay. Call me.

“Giving up is just an option, not an obligation in our family”

Love,
Big Brother

From Firm Pinch to Never-ending Pain

Have you ever play paintball before? Those counter-strike aspirant sport where you shoot and shoot till all of your opponents are proclaim dead; in this case covered with paint. I had actually watched a few friendly tournament in my university but I never participate in any of it; that was until today where I actually played five rounds of paintball with some of the KDU folks (I haven’t had chance to know them in person, not even their name but I’m sure I shoot down a few of them).

Well, the rules are really simple, once you being marked with paint, you’re out. That’s when you need to raise both your hands with the marker (gun) on your head and walk slowly to the corner of the field. I advised you to run because you might ‘kena’ a few shots if you take your honeymoon sweet time to the corner. The bullet is typically some oil-based paint wrapped with thin layer of rubber, so when it ‘kena’ your body it explode; and the next thing you know, you’re covered in poster-colour-smell-like paint. It feel like a firm pinch if you ‘kena’ from an appropriate distance. Except if it’s a short distance shot, then be prepared for the worst scenario: bruise and bleeding. So normally to avoid that, when you’re in a short distance (as in half a meter away), you just point the marker at your opponent and shouted “You’re out!” and he/she ‘pandai-pandai’ walk to the corner la. That’s all in the rules book (I don’t know whether it exist or not but that was what I told by the instructor; 'kena' cheated kot).

Nevertheless, there’s once when I point my marker to a girl who doesn't realize that I sneaked out from right wing and say out the magic word “Slowly put down your gun. You’re out!” she actually scream for a while and turn back to shoot me for almost half of her ammo. Walau! Play cheat one, ‘kena’ my hand some more. Hand leh, not protected part leh, it does feel like a firm pinch; just that it’s from the Hulks. The Hulks leh! Pain to the max till my hand doesn’t feel a thing for a time; she violated the rules but no one seems to care: "Lu bo shoot wa, wa bo die, bo die!!". Which part of no short distance firing she doesn’t understand. Kesian my hand only. That was the last time I use that magic word.

One thing that I don’t understand is they provide us mask, thick army shirt and even army pants but where is the cock protection? You know just in case there’s some sharp sniper in the game who has a huge grudge on you; you never know whether it’s the paintball or your ball that explode. I was trying to protect ‘him’ all the way and even had this crazy idea to wear a mask there, but since I always ‘kena’ headshot; better don’t. You laugh? Don’t play play! My thigh also ‘kena’ a few times, even my ear which supposes to be protected also ‘kena’.

Nonetheless, it’s not that bad after minus out the bruises, pain and money. Overall it’s worth as we always heard of it but never been in the game before. At least I got thing to ‘blow water’ (talk about) next time when I’m out of topic.

Better take a shower now, the stain and smell of the paint is so ewwww… Ciao!

Blogging Life

This month is one of the most hella busy month for me; not getting enough sleep is already one thing but not blogging for so long is a beyond the pale sin. Sorry people, kind of stuck in between work and sleep, work and sleep; no room for blog. Nevertheless today I’ll blog, ‘die die’ also must write something in my blog. And by the way, thank you seniors! Never know that you guys read my blog too. Will surely keep you guys update about my internship life.

First thing first, my biggest mistake this month is that I missed my best buddy birthday. I think he waited the whole night and most probably the whole following day for me. But, I did nothing, in fact I didn’t even realize that’s the day when I went check on him that day; not that I don’t want to but I’m just too busy with my stuff. You can always check my to-do-list, everyday full. Hereby I sincerely apologize to you, friend. Sorry dude that I missed your birthday, I feel like a jerk for not remembering your birthday. But you know I’m no good with date right? Anyway, sorry big time dude!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY,
Melly Life Monkeys Blog!

That’s right! That’s my blog first birthday. My first post was on sixth of January last year and it had been a more-or-less-up-and-down year with you, MLMB. Looking back at what I did with you for the past one year is superb, somehow I feel that it worth every sweat and tears for jotting down everything to you; whether it’s my everyday life experience, good or bad memory, hilarious moment, brainless times or perhaps some reminders for me to not repeat the same mistake again. It’s worth.

Blogging has always been my alternative channel (at some point my core channel) for me to express myself. In life, there is always up and down; sometimes down flat all the time but that doesn’t matter, what matter is how you deal with it. The best way so far is to share with your family, your best friend and if possible everyone; Face it! We need each other to survive. Yet sometimes there are things that you can’t tell everyone, that’s when blog come in handy. But publishing it in blog means telling everyone, not? Well, undeniably yes but through a different media, at least not face to face; and pray hard that the person won’t come to my blog.

When I start blogging last year, it’s all about what happen around us that we don’t be bothered to know. Simple minor stuff that we choose to ignore, that we choose not to care because the fact is it’s too minor for us even just to waste our time and energy to think about. But when you choose to think hard and try to understand it, you will see the beauty of every simple minor thing. Eventually you’ll laugh on your own for missing out the joy laying just in front of you for so many years. Even a simple cup of coffee can brighten your life, well it had brighten mine already.

I wish every of my every readers to laugh if not smile reading my blog. That’s why I blogged every of my silly act. I know it’s embarrass, well it is. Nevertheless the joy of hearing positive feedback from you guys worth all the embarrassment. My everyday life seems overflowing with first class entertainment, first class joker (not you, JL), first class comedian (not you again JL) but that only happen in my blog. Reality, life’s always a joke, just like a blind-folded roller-coaster; you never know when you’re up or down. But since I can make it to sound like a merry-happy life in my blog then why not, at least you’re entertained. It’s a pleasure to see my readers ‘amusingly amused’ with my blog. "Thank you, readers!!"

Like I said, we never know when we are up and down in our life. At one point you may looking down at the people below, and the next thing you know, you’re down joining them. When you’re all on your own, you tend to give up; you feel useless to struggle, that’s when you stop running and remain at that point in your life marathon. Days after days, months after months; sooner or later everyone is ahead of you. That’s when you feel useless to carry on, even just to try standing up. That’s when you let go. But fortunately someone is there for me whenever I’m tired of running; she is there to push me to grasp back the marathon pace and keep up with the others. I may not the top runners, I may not get any fame and glory, but I’m glad I still can carry on in the marathon; at least with you by my side. At least now I know what to do when you’re tired to carry on, I’ll be there to push you back.

Looking back at my post is like watching an infant grows. He might still a kiddo now, but he’s surely growing. There had been quite some time you being with me, buddy. We had walked quite a distance, not to say a long one but it’s just significant to make a comparison. There’s still a long way though but I’ll keep on blogging. That’s the only way he’ll grow.

So long now, thank you MLMB. Happy Belated Birthday! Have a great one!