Bad Habit Weakness

Few words: Last time when I always lepak, people ask me to get a job. Now that I have a job, people ask me why I don’t come out lepak one? wdafuq!


When my boss first handed me the appraisal form, I think he did smile. Heedlessly, I just put it on my table and in no time, it was stacked with documents. After few days, the appraisal reappeared and casually I just flipped through the form but unintentionally I come across a column which requires me to fill in my weakness. “This is some serious shit!”

When they asked for your weakness, basically, they are trying to make the self-conscious you to betray you. You get what I mean, no? They aren’t really interested in your weakness. What they really interested in are the potential excuses they don’t give you bonus.

Come to think of it, my boss did not smile, it was a smirk instead!

In any case, here I am trying hard to fill up this appraisal form. But frankly speaking, I’d develop a number of bad habits for the past six months.

One thing for sure, I’m always rushing. For the past six months, I’ve been late for at least dozens of times and most of the time if I really made it on time, it is marginally passed. And so I have developed a kind of a chic talk every time I start my car “Let’s do it”; credit taken from Mission Impossible. You know, just a small motivation talk between me and my car. Although as weird as it sound, this motivation really works. Without knowing it, I started to whisper to my car every time I start my car, just to feel like Tom Cruise once in a while. One fine morning, I was fetching my mum to dentistry. Casually I did it again when I started my car, “Let’s do it” and my mum was like “DO WHAT?” with wild-eyed. Glaring in by my mum like this, I won’t want to tell her that I’m talking to a car. Silently, I just put in the first gear and drive.

Also, over the past six months, people have been calling me all sorts of name but all aren’t my real name. Department manager called me Chow, the marketing representative refers me as Jeff in her email and the worse one is from the plating department lady: ‘Stiff’ and that is not even a name. It is more like an adjective but compliment still taken, good eyes lady! Anyhow for the past six months I had not corrected a single person that called me wrongly. I guess for me, a name is just a name.

Lately, I’m into photography so it is a norm for photo enthusiasm like me to practice my framing and composing every chance I have. The great different that distinguishes between professional and amateur is the professional compose their shot in mind whereas amateur usually frame them by fingers. So whenever I see something worth taking, I’ll heedlessly frame the shot with my fingers. Although I tried to minimize this bad habit but sometimes I just can’t help and box my shot with fingers. This is another chic act; holding steadily, controlling my breathing, shooting: It is my second nature but when my mum sees it, she yells, “DO WHAT?” Once again, glared in so intensively by my mum, I just walked away silently.

Although I was supposed to literally send all my emails in English but sometimes I just couldn’t. There are limitations to English words’ expression. Thus, I tend to use stronger words like ‘sibeh’, ‘dulan’, ‘geng’, ‘die die’ and such word of this format in my email. Anyhow, I only limit this in my casual email, albeit sometimes in my formal email as well. Nevertheless there is once when I used this in my email to my manager, it is a one to one email so I thought to myself ‘why so serious?’ and I did that. Well, first of all the word is stronger and secondly it simplify my intention holistically. ‘Customer is not happy and demand us to provide a new solution to our existence control plan’ now can be simplified to ‘deep shit, customer dulan’. But that particular email is escalated to everyone in my manager next reply. Best of all, senior managers are in the loop as well, FML!

After mirroring so many of my bad habits, I have stuck back to reality facing my appraisal most difficult question again. Come to such extent, in any case, I have to write something down.

PLEASE IDENTIFY YOUR WEAKNESS: NONE.

The Write Stuff

Few words: V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N and I need it so badly. A mini escape from work sound just so fine.

Coming to such extent, it is neither about keeping readers nor making pocket money anymore. To be frank, this post was supposed to be uploaded few weeks ago but it was left idling till now. One thing for sure is I can’t give commitment to blogging anymore. It’s ironic how desperate I am to chase customer cycle time each day and how reckless I could to abandon blogging. Well, life has to go on.

I always thought life is a bit of work and fun but turn out I was wrong. Life is a bit of fun but mostly overlapped by work. Put simply, life first priority goes to making money. So if you’re a smart one, look for a job that you really interested in. I was lucky enough to have a job related to writing; well, in such a way. In such a way though…

It started in childhood, when I developed the bad habits of passing or rather throwing notes to friends in the middle of class. But this writing never lasts long because at some point people just throw without writing. Then the computer and internet come along with their email, this has totally changed the whole perspective of writing. Writing is not only limited to paper, ink and pen anymore. But internet only available for the rich, so email is a big NO for me at that time. Some years later, my parent bought me a mobile phone; a bulky Nokia 3310. But back then the calling rate was extremely expensive so most of the time we only able to text or SMS. Come to think of it, I never complaint to text; in fact I love texting because it is more expressive than speaking. Those day I could stay awake in the middle of the night just to wait for a reply. That was how obsessed I'm to writing.

In my early university years, I decided to step in for blogging. I was writing about my daily routine for a year; both in cheers and flames. But it wasn’t till the third year, when more and more people discovered my blog and eventually I start getting question like “Blog updated?” from anonymous; I'd really feel like a newspaper editor at some time. Haha. Writing actually kept me from falling asleep and through writing I know a few more friends. And whenever I feel like sleeping at work, I open up my mailbox and happily replying emails. Of course, not all mails are happy one. The one I found happy to reply to so far is to my friends. The customer mails are normally not so friendly one; occasionally you will find some amusing one too.

From blogging about daily routine turning to monthly routine and it won’t be long before it turns to quarterly routine. Usually, I only write when I have something in mind but for the past few months I just let this something slip passed my mind. Before I knew it, I totally forget about it. Then I realize, I need to jot it down in my notepad. When I open my notepad today, it is an accumulation of keywords and frankly speaking, I don’t even know where to start with. So I decided to write a new one today.

As I said earlier, life first priority is working and when you work from nine to five, the only time left for you is to recharge. Sadly, blogging is not one of the recharging agenda. Once again, coming to such extent it is neither about keeping readers nor making pocket money anymore. I still blog because I love writing.

Thank you and best regards.