Basketball Court

No, it’s not a five stars basketball court. No, it’s not a well-equipped-million-dollars indoor basketball court. It’s just an ordinary…No! not ordinary, it’s below ordinary basketball court; not a first-class court if you ask me, but that’s the place where I start to play basketball; that’s the place where I train, that’s the place where I shared the most laughter with my friends and that’s the place where I spend most of my teenage life. Frankly speaking, I love that place. Maybe it’ll sound absurd, but that’s the only place where I feel like I’m flying. But as ridiculous as it sound, I actually did fly there (not really fly la, but I did run and jump all I want there).

Speaking of flying, there is one time I really thought I was. I was doing a speeding lay-up but then my opponent chases me all the way from behind and blocks me. Of course he wasn’t able to block me, but his inertia knocked me up half a foot higher in the air; and surprisingly I touched the basketball ring. That’s the best lay-up I ever did; half a dunk leh. Why I say the best? Because it only happens once in so many basketball matches I ever played. Its miracle leh, the timing, the momentum, the physic and the chances are super low. That I can assure you hundred percent but I guess every miracle come with a sacrifice; I injured my lips darn bad, as in mouth part-lips; just in case you guys misunderstand cause I know you all will.

I had been away from Ipoh for quite some time now and every time when I’m back, I’ll surely stopover at the basketball court. Nonetheless things change a lot since the last time I played there. Let’s see what changed, why not start with SEAFOOD, SEAFOOD and SEAFOOD for instance. Hell yeah, those court is fully dominated by SEAFOOD; not crabs, not shrimps, not abalones but freaking SON OF LALAs (direct cantonese translation: lala chai).

If you have chance to go there, see for yourself how this LALA play. Don’t be surprise when you hear vulgar word during the game (never a technical foul given there); ‘your mother’, ‘his/her mother’ and ‘their mother’ are just too old school. Those LALA blend in culinary, technology, psychology and even politic in their vulgar word; in addition they also make it into short form. I just don’t get it for the first few times. For instance, “Tea Myanmar HKC”; for you it may sound like some bubble milk tea name (Myanmar’s Hong Kong Chinese Tea? You’re darn wrong!). It’s actually a vulgar word, all new school words. Let’s look at another example, “Fry Crab” (I know that’s common but how often people translate it into English and shoot you with it? High class LALA leh) or “Kentucky McB” (Yes Kentucky McB not Kentucky McD; go figure).

I won’t be surprise if they suddenly pull out a watermelon parang and start chop-here-chop-there after losing a match. But that’s not all. Their rules are no way near NBA or FIBA: three second violation, charging or travelling is never on their list. Gladly there was once a fair and justice guy who sound it out but after that I never saw him playing there anymore. *Gulp* and one more thing, these rules only apply to their gang of LALAs. Outsiders play by strict or maybe stricter than NBA rules. How’s that?

It’s like playing with your hand locked, leg tied, blind folded and using a 50 kg metal ball.

But that’s not all, if you’re good at basketball; they isolate you. Yes they isolate you. They freaking isolate you, ended up you all alone waiting for the never ending match. I was so fed up playing with them till I have no intention of going there anymore. Nevertheless, the ‘basketball heat’ is still there, often I’ll purposely drive there to shoot a few loops just like today and guess what?

TEA MYANMAR HKC! They still the same. FRY CRAB all LALAs!