Melly Life Monkeys Blog: Lou Beh

It’s already two in the morning and I still couldn't sleep, must be sleeping too much in the noon. Try to hypnotize myself by staring at the ceiling; hopefully my eye will get heavy and doze off. But as much as I gaze, there’s no help but making me to recall all those old memory instead. I think of him.

‘Lou Beh’ simply means father in Hainamese; that’s what I call my old man. I know many of you call your father: father, dad, daddy or whatsoever but for me I’m too used to call him ‘beh’ more than anything else. I still remember once in the primary school, my class teacher asked what we call our father and I’m one of the lucky one to answer. “Saya panggil bapa saya Beh" (I call my father, Beh) and the whole class laugh because they thought that I called my father a bear. Nonetheless, I didn’t mind at all; not even once because he’s my only one unique dad.

To be honest, he’s not a super-dad; in fact, it’s true to say he’s a…let’s just say he’s a below average-dad. I never take his promise for real because I learned my lesson so much until I treat all his promises a-never-come-true statement. But there’s once, he really did turn up for my basketball competition like he promised; although he showed up at the last few minutes and I was resting on the bench but undeniably I’m smiling from the bottom of my heart. For once in my life, I feel glad to be his son. After the match ended, he still complaining all the way because he can’t see me in action, but in his heart, I know he’s more than proud for coming to support his own son.

My dad is slapdash, inconsiderate, and stubborn; and not forgets to mention he likes to take control. I mean what kind of father would take his son to an Indian eatery when his son is having a high fever? The answer would be my old man, ladies and gentleman. "Curry can cure fever, curry make you sweat, son" he said. Is that a joke? But please don't joke with me when I'm having high fever, dad! He’s that kind of man who forced you to take what he thinks is the best for him; yes in this case he think what’s best for him is best for you too. That’s my father, the most stubborn person I ever met. Sometimes I’d ask why he can’t just act like a normal father; like my friend’s daddy. I asked that question for twenty two years yet I still couldn’t respond. But no doubt he’s always there when I need him and no doubt, of all the sons, he loves me the most.

‘Lou Beh’ how long have I not calling you this, dad? I can’t call to mind, I asked myself numerous of times but I really can’t recall. Since the last fight, I barely remember when the last time I call you that. Even the sound of it feels so unfamiliar now. Our conversation won’t last for minutes, and frequently it’s overflowing with silent till at one point, both of us gave up and hang up.

Elders’ word won’t be wrong, I understand that, dad. All along I had been seeking for you and mum help whenever I need it and I know elders’ word can’t be wrong, for the reason that you all have experience it firsthand yourself. Like the old saying “from the horse’s mouth itself”. I respect every word from you and mum because I know you guys want the best for me. But dad, as stubborn as you are; there’s sometimes even elders doubt about their action and words; and dad, there’s sometimes even the elders need help from their young one too.