Now, ever since my friends complain on my *chim English usage in my blog; I tend to write my blog in a more amusing and less complicated way. But not today, I’m not in the mood to joke. It’s not me when I talked about my family; because I never talk about them, because I just love each of my family members so much I wouldn’t want to talk about them. Yet it’s easy to say I love them, and its hell hard to demonstrate it.
I know I’ll regret this if I don’t blog this, because I really can’t have a word with him; blame my self-esteem, blame my ego, blame me as a bad son or whatsoever. Yet, I couldn’t face him. As I say, I love him just that I couldn’t demonstrate it.
Family, a word that mean a million to many including me.
Family, a place where I shield myself when facing difficulties.
Family, the person whom I consult when I don’t know what to do.
Family, my home.
Family will forever attaches to me no matter who I was, who I am and who I will be.
It has been half a year now, since my last conversation I had with my dad. It’s the most heartbreaking conversation I ever had with him; and I think I did break his heart real bad, real nasty. The thing is he’s wrong; but for him, we are never right. It feels just like yesterday, having that conversation that somehow makes me as a bad son. I admit it wasn’t my intention to go that nasty, in Chinese we refer that as ‘play too big this time’.
The thing is, both our ego are higher that Mt. Everest. He did make a call to me, but I didn’t pick it up. I did call back, but he didn’t pick it up this time. And I hardly want to go back to my hometown; because I don’t know what to do when I face him. Just I and he alone in the living room can be so silence till I can hear the sound of my living room fan.
Just received a message from my mum and everything seem so blue to me. I know you are losing weight, just because your beloved son; me. It’s heartbreaking. The fact is I do call mum and ask how you are doing every chance I had when I phone home. I’m regret that I broke your heart despite the fact that you love me the most among all in the family.
Dad…
I don’t have the courage to say it out. Yes, I’m too gutless to say it to you. Yes, I’m too spineless to ask for your forgiveness.
Dad…
I’m sorry.
No matter what happen, I’m always your son.
I know I’ll regret this if I don’t blog this, because I really can’t have a word with him; blame my self-esteem, blame my ego, blame me as a bad son or whatsoever. Yet, I couldn’t face him. As I say, I love him just that I couldn’t demonstrate it.
Family, a word that mean a million to many including me.
Family, a place where I shield myself when facing difficulties.
Family, the person whom I consult when I don’t know what to do.
Family, my home.
Family will forever attaches to me no matter who I was, who I am and who I will be.
It has been half a year now, since my last conversation I had with my dad. It’s the most heartbreaking conversation I ever had with him; and I think I did break his heart real bad, real nasty. The thing is he’s wrong; but for him, we are never right. It feels just like yesterday, having that conversation that somehow makes me as a bad son. I admit it wasn’t my intention to go that nasty, in Chinese we refer that as ‘play too big this time’.
The thing is, both our ego are higher that Mt. Everest. He did make a call to me, but I didn’t pick it up. I did call back, but he didn’t pick it up this time. And I hardly want to go back to my hometown; because I don’t know what to do when I face him. Just I and he alone in the living room can be so silence till I can hear the sound of my living room fan.
Just received a message from my mum and everything seem so blue to me. I know you are losing weight, just because your beloved son; me. It’s heartbreaking. The fact is I do call mum and ask how you are doing every chance I had when I phone home. I’m regret that I broke your heart despite the fact that you love me the most among all in the family.
Dad…
I don’t have the courage to say it out. Yes, I’m too gutless to say it to you. Yes, I’m too spineless to ask for your forgiveness.
Dad…
I’m sorry.
No matter what happen, I’m always your son.
No comments:
Post a Comment