Story of Staying on Track

Few words: I’m obsessesed with the American series: Lie to me. It never fails to amaze me how the Dr. Lightman spot lies through humans’ facial expression. No doubt the science is awesome, but if I were to choose; I rather not to see lies. Knowing everything is not always a blessing.


A few months ago, I was standing here in front of burger stall with sadden face and aching heart; let’s just say it’s not a good story to begin with. Months later, I’m here standing in front of the burger stall basically doing the same thing but with a completely different state of affairs. Amazing huh? How one heart can change so fast (or should I put ‘so much') in few months time. "Looks like I’m off from my track again".

Ever wonder how repulsive you look in the past few months? I bet you don’t, in fact I think you’re the last person on earth to realize or want to know about it. People just don’t seem to care about this matter anymore, I mean, who will keep track on what you’re today and what you will be in months later; that’s absurd not? Simply!

You may change a lot, you may not, you may doesn’t even know what the changes are; but definitely not through yourself. People experience change but not all realizing the changes; just for the reason you can’t see yourself. That’s when the peoples around you come in handy: friends, families, foes, chatters, girlfriend, boyfriend and basically everyone who see you other than what you see yourself. I don’t deny, who understand you better than yourself; I mean, you’re the only one in this whole darn world that know what you’re good for and what you’re not.

You are the one that fill in your own column of your strength and weakness, because you know yourself better than us. But wait a minutes, who’s there to judge what you put is a definite strength. It may seem one to you, but how sure are you that your strength is a plus and not a minus? Even the only person in this whole darn world, aka, you; can’t be sure about it. That’s when the role of the person around you comes in place.

After that incident, I look at myself as a completely different person; I may have mixed up the strength and weakness column in the past; somehow I bring a few weaknesses into the strength column. Nevertheless, I'm lucky that someone point that out (ouch!) and I manage to pull out what shouldn’t be out of the list. The process of realizing is of course through a very painful experience. Humans are miserable huh? They only learn through pain; I mean they learn more through pain. Some say experience make you a fighter and I can’t further disagree with it. I have to come clean; if I were a fighter today, I got it all through pain. From the pain, human tend to remember the mistake with all their might so that they won’t repeat the pain once again. That’s when pain guide mankind to a better...erh...mankind.

One bad thing about human is they tend to forget. Human brain can only keep so limited input,s like your hard disk for instance. You need to delete old files in order to make room for new inputs; the same applies to human brain, but in a much complicated way. When human tend to lift off from their track of life, the deflection will bring them to a different ground; different level where they start to forget the pain. That’s when pride comes in and ego takes over the body. That’s when I started to put back my weakness to the strength column again; repeating the same last mistake. This happen occasionally, but I’m just another human and human tend to make mistake too. However, as long as human can control this; there is really no one you can blame. I admit there is a slip out every now and then, but as long as I still put control into practice; it doesn’t even matter not?

Months ago, I completely aware of the pain and trust me I will do anything just to avoid the pain. Months later, the pain might have faded where pride and ego come in full force shadowing the pain. I’m once again back being an egoist for a while until someone unintentionally say that right at my sorry face: “Attitude shows it all” and that’s ring a bell. Of all the sudden, waking me up in the dark and realizing how repulsive I was. “Attitude shows it all”, I thought I have changed but now I realize that I’m just circling the same old mistake and falls back to that silly mistake every so often. “Attitude shows it all” and that’s actually a good call. Thanks!

Months later, I’m here standing in front of burger stall and struggling to stay on my track. At least, I still remember the pain and no opt to repeat the same mistake anymore. Yet still I’m not the one to judge, you guys are.

Time to hit the books now, adios!