Melly Life Monkeys Blog: On Christmas Eve

Few words: Since my previous post Mr.Leo is published, everyone is calling me that now. Sooner or later this place going to be misterleomonkey.blogspot.com. By the way, it’s Christmas already? It feels just like another Friday night. I sacrifice Christmas for my final year project, dear supervisor; if you’re reading this, do give me an A+.

Here I am, alone, in front of my laptop on Christmas Eve. For those who are really close to me, they will assume I'm bullshitting but the fact is the fact; I’m all alone in front of my lappy now and most probably remain the same for the next couple of hours. Well if that’s the case, then why not blog? Here it goes then...

The following may contain certain degree of joke involving several important characters of Christmas which are not in any way explicit or offensive. If you can’t take joke seriously or if you take joke too seriously, please stop reading and exit the page. Conversely, if you’re just looking for a piece of laughing material, welcome.

Being born and raised by Chinese custom had gravely lessened my knowledge or understanding about other custom, for instance the Christmas. The first word that comes through my mind when you talk about Christmas is Merry because they always come together, and no kidding, that’s the only thing I know about Christmas. I really had no idea what Christmas is until I’m in kindergarten. Even so, I’d think of Santa Claus as a thief. You can’t blame me, who wouldn’t think of a thief when someone wearing boots go into your house through the chimney. To further support my theory, Santa always come at night when everybody is asleep, he carry a never-ending big sack and he laugh every time he got away "Ho Ho Ho!". Which of the above criterion show he is not a thief, convince me!

After some time, I share my humble theory with my friend Rajan and to my surprise; he couldn’t even let me finish my theory. He was totally pissed off. He told me that Santa Claus is never a thief, Santa Claus is his hero. He also told me that Santa Claus was originally one of Marvel superhero, same class with Spiderman, Hulks and others superheroes in those Superhero League. And because of that, I believe him for months and wondering “What superpower he had? Toy making? Chimney sliding?”

Back then, Rajan is still my best friend before I find out that there is no Rajan in his birth cert. It's written Ganes instead.

After some years of celebrating Christmas, I gain some knowledge about Santa, mainly through TV. Somehow Santa is a kind old man who likes to make toys and he come every year on this particular night to deliver his handmade toys to good kids ONLY. The word ONLY sound so mysterious right, I thought so, how he know which is good har? At that time, I already had quite a number of useful data on Santa, but still I couldn’t meet him.

I know Santa put the present in sock, so I purposely ask my mum to wash all my socks before Christmas. I put my sock every year at my front door, in fact I put three just in case he missed it or maybe I’m lucky enough to make him think I have two more siblings. But still, nothing in the socks.

At some point, I even ask my mum to build a chimney in my house because I thought he is too paiseh to come in by front door. Of course my mum won’t build one, by the way, having a chimney in Malaysia is illegal; government will tax you under factory and manufacturing building because the number of house with chimney is even rare than museum. Every year I have come out with more and more creative idea; putting a sign board writing ’chimney this way’ at my front door, placing my sock at the balcony instead and I even reserve a place for reindeer parking. But there is still no trace of Santa and more importantly his toys. Eventually, I understand why my parent isn’t all hype bouts Santa, for the reason, it’s just a myth.

Even so it’s just a myth; there are still a few logical questions that I don’t understand. "Why reindeer?" And it’s not normal reindeer; Santa is so picky, he only wants red nosed reindeer. Why not horse? Everyone knows that horse is better in many ways than reindeer. "And why elf?" Everyone knows the cheapest labor available is Bangla, why not Bangla? These are few logical questions that still remain a mystery to me.

But not today, I finally meet my Santa, or seem to be like him. Red and white, should be him.