What’s Next?

Do you believe that music keep some of your memory? I don’t. I never do.

I had a sleepless night again; this is already so many times in row. Whenever I’m not out with my friends, or whenever I’m all alone by myself; then I’ll start to think. Frankly speaking, I can’t help myself not to think. It’s so grey and everything so blur. I know I’m not the saddest guy on earth, but I just can’t help to think about the future; should I say what I’m going to do next.

I had been peppered with the questions “What’s next?” numerous times but I really have no idea, even though I endeavor; but I don’t sense any answer either.

The only way to stop thinking is to keep myself tiring, keep my brain running or force myself to sleep. This few days of battling with insomnia, I found out that hot milks help a lot; wine help even better; and I wonder will sleeping pills help greater?

I’m sitting here in my living room, the sound of my grandfather clock tickling and the sound of my ceiling fan is so clear. With nothing to do, I wanted to keep myself busy; I switched on my laptop and checked my every comedies; Russell Peter, Stephen Chow, Robin Williams; famous comedians that had been keep me laughing for this few days. Nevertheless the same jokes never work twice, and eventually they have lost their charms; somehow I don’t laugh anymore, not even a chuckle.

Sitting here all by myself, the loneliness finally attacked me. Everyday there are bunch of friends being around me, they keep me accompanied; there is no way I going to be lonely. Finally I’d feel lonely now, in fact I feels dismal. Thinking that some music will sweep away my loneliness, I clicked on my Winamp; it starts playing from my previous history; the song that I last heard.

And it’d bring back a lot of memory.

To be honest, it’s still raining here; never stopped. But you force the sun out, and somehow the rain got to end. Nobody understands why I love the rain; the scent of it, the aftermath cooling wind, the sound of it drumming around and I just love to watch the raindrop touches the ground. Yet the rain is only temporary, when the sun is out; everything back to reality. It’s just like a dream.

If it’s just a dream, I really want to get up; please wake me up, it’s so suffering here.

Dear, I wish that you can wake me up and pull me out of this misery. And you did.


I’d believe now and I made a big mistake recalling the song.