Starless Starless Night

It is already late night, my living room’s grandfather clock rang; a sign of just after twelve o’clock. It’s time to doze to most people but the night is still young for me. Another lonely virgin night without accompany again. Late night burger stalls, mamak stalls, McD and those nearby 24 hours seven eleven convenient stall are already my usual hanging out place, not because there are close to my house; but it’s because they open till early in the morning. Even the employees there recognize my face; “The usual?” is the only thing they asked.

“Yes, the usual”

I usually have it take away; doesn’t really enjoy the feeling of wondering outside my house alone. I straight away off to my home once my take away done. Just reach my house, my dog barked at me once I open my gate; every time. I usually have my take away in front of either the television or my desktop, but not tonight. On my way home earlier, I realized the clear dark sky with the half revealed moon shining brightly on top of me; that trigger me to eat my supper at my balcony.

It’s indeed a dark sky; only a bright moon with no stars. It just seems like the moon alone in this dark sky; nothing else. I remembered once I told a girl that when there are no stars in the sky at night, I’m in a good mood. But I’m sure I’m no way near good mood now; not even close. But now I know why I love the night, it’s quiet. Looking at the empty dark sky and the chilling wind wafting around me; seem that nothing in this world can bother me, seem that everything can be ignored and I genuinely love that moment.

As I was enjoying the moment, my friend loneliness try to keep me accompany. “No, thanks” I reached my phone, get to my contact list and make a call. I know I’m an egocentric bastard because I only look for accompany when I’m all alone. Fortunately she still awake, we chatted.

It’s a long chat; it last about one and half hours. The call was pricey and my ear almost dead beat but that call just makes my day (in this case: night). Listening to your silly crappy story, your uncontrollable laughter, your overwhelming kepoh curiosity, your grumble (mostly university life dissatisfaction) and your gossip seriously brighten up my day (in this case: night). Now I understand why there’s no star in the sky tonight; I’m in a good mood already. Thank you.

“Adieu loneliness” I whispered to myself.

The peaceful night with a pleasant long distance phone call; that’s just what I need. Frankly speaking I can actually talk forever with her; at a certain extent, I was thinking to chat overnight with her. Then of all the sudden, conscience strikes my mind; she has her life to live with and so do I. And no matter how egocentric bastard I can be, it’s wrong to mess up her life just because I have messed up mine. That’s when I have to say goodbye.

Goodbye.