Melly Life Monkeys Blog: First of August

My mind is blank, staring at the alarm clock. It’s already 2240 now and there’s only an hour plus for me to remain as twenty one. Twenty one maybe a breakthrough for every teenager, as that’s the official age of being acknowledge by the society that they’re legally adult. Hence, being twenty one is more or less a dream for most of the teenagers.

“My dream did come true last year.”

But then I realize, being twenty one or as an adult, has its own agenda. Things are not that entertaining anymore and it’s time to get serious. Your parents will not treat you as a child anymore, that’s the time that you need to take responsible over every word you said, that’s the time you have to decide when you’re ask to make choice, that’s the time you know that being twenty one might be something not-fun-at-all. That’s the time when you wish that you never grow up.

“Welcome to twenty one.”

Throughout the age of twenty one, I started to think and see things differently. When you’re still a kid, your mum will tuck you to bed every night and whenever you had a nightmare, your mum will surely be there for you. That’s when you’re still a kid. When you’re already twenty one, you’ll forced to constantly deal with reality nightmare and there’s no one for you to hold on. That’s the age when you seriously need to learn to sleep.

The year of twenty one is no more a playground for you. That’s when you learn how to take responsibility in your life. There are so many things to learn either orally or not verbally. Nobody will take you as a kid anymore. Every word out of you holds a big conscientiousness. That’s the time you learn how to control your words, your emotion and your tone so that you won’t hurt others.

Being twenty one change my perspective a lot.

From an introvert guy, I start to change to a more sociable guy. I start to realize how important friend is. Trust me; being alone is the last thing you wish for on this earth. I start to make friends, yes I admit that not every friendship last but what the heck; I did make friend right?

I learn how to control my temper. I know temper helps a lot in leadership and getting people to work with you, but you don’t always need it. Sometimes we should try to solve problem in a more casual way. That’s time when I learn to laid-back when there’s no need to be firm.

I learn that winning is important, but there’s a time that you need to lose in order to win. So as to win, from time to time we must learn to be defeated. Just by admitting your minor humble defeat, you can save the whole world; that’s the real triumph that everyone desire. That’s time when I learn to lose.

Ego is important to guys, as it trigger confident to the max. But too much ego in one will eventually lead him to his self destruct. That’s time when I start putting down my armor and start to live as a humble one. It somehow enlightens me that humble life sometimes can be interesting as well.

The age of twenty one is when I seriously think about setting down. No more fooling around. Be a man that girls can trust, be a man that girls can be with and be a man that cares. I learn that to maintain, one must sacrifice and to sacrifice, only one shall maintain.

I learn that as a human being, the greatest blessing god has given us is our feeling. With this feeling, we are able to form bonding, relations, friendship and even family. Nonetheless I also learn that the greatest disaster of all mankind is their feeling too. Feeling tend to make one tears, one hurt, one miserable and one heartbroken. I had gone through a hellish time with feeling and I seriously learn my lesson.

I had lost a lot throughout my year of twenty one, yet I manage to gain a lot from it too. The world is round and she needs equilibrium too, when you lose something, eventually you’ll get something else as your replacement. The only problem is how are you going to face your loss and accept your replacement. Bear in mind, nothing will be the same anymore with this new replacement. But when you really ready to let go of your loss, and accept the replacement; you’ll be surprised by what you can gain out of it.

I had lost someone I respect and look up to the most, but I gain the real meaning of family.

I had lost myself for quite a long time, but I gain the new me.

I had lost my time over the sea, but I gain memory over the rainbow.

I had lost love, but I gain care.

I had lost ego, but I gain respect.

I had lost in everything, but I gain something from each of everything.

I had lost you, but I fought.

Frankly speaking, my age of twenty one is not a happy one, as it only adds cuts and scars to my heart. But each scar teaches me a different lesson, and each cuts call for a different healing.

Years later I may forget, but somehow these scars will ring a bell to remind me. I guess it’s time for me to take a leap into a new chapter of my life, a new page, a new beginning starting with (since it’s already twelve):