A Bottle of Beer

Beer which is a drink adored by most of the men and no doubts ladies as well; has always on hand in the event of celebration and sorrow agendas. Beers are actually a very versatile companion; we need it when we are happy and we certainly need it when we are in blues; desperately. That’s why we seldom heard of Carlsberg or Guinness bankrupt, thanks to us; the beer addicts supporters.

I had been working for Carlsberg for a couple of months during my form 6 holidays, as a banner-hanger-man in marketing department and as a low paid long-hour-stand-promoter in sales. The people there especially *ahem* the boss *ahem* are all cunning one nice people, they always cheat the employees money by delaying the paycheck had always been very nice to the workers there. Maybe for the reason I’m in the business of alcoholic drink, it’s a must for me to know a bit about beers, that’s when I seriously tasting every drop of this yellowish-bitterly-carbonated-good-for-nothing-drink. Don’t get me wrong, Carlsberg didn’t make me a beer addict frequent beer drinker; I’d been taking beer since I was small reached a legal age.

*Erh..let's just say that's my legal age. Heh.

Working with Carlsberg has always been a real experience for me; seeing how the system runs in minimarket, supermarket or even hypermarket like TESCO; getting to know some Carlsberg hot chicks (those who had gorgeous body and look. DUH! Carlsberg won’t hire auntie for promoting) supervisor for instance Kenny who is a real nice COCKY guy; and this is the part where I like the most: getting to steal, I mean smuggle, I mean TEST their beers every single day (need some ‘skill’ la, if u want to know more skype/text me). That’s what my mum afraid of, once step into the world of beer; guy will come out of the world beer belly whereas girl will come out of the world pregnant. “Mi, you too worry ba?”

For me, beer is just another ‘drink’ to me; maybe the only different is that it’s tasteless and more expensive. Si beh more expensive. Then why do I take it?

That’s a pretty good question. Yes! I did and still wonder why I take it at the first place? Okay la, I admit la that the very first reason I take beer is because it’s cool or at least looks ‘MACHO’ to drink it. Although it taste like shit at first, but we normally endure it; just to prove our machoism. ‘Die die’ also cannot spit it out gela, nevertheless our facial expression are at all times the one that betrays us; the beer-drinker-wanna-be. I hate to admit that when the first time I had my beer, I barely wanted to swallow it because it taste so BAD. When people ask “So how was it?”; I replied politely “Ewww..what *censor* is that, *censor*” in a more straightforward way “Not nice”.

Nonetheless there are also some different scenarios which laugh the lungs out of me. Let’s just say I had a friend KC who I think is better to keep his name anonymously, he’s a non-alcoholic drinker in fact a person who didn’t came into contact with beer before (as far as i concerned). So there is one day, when we are out for some random dinner, he asked whether we want to have some beer. To be frank, I was quite surprise when he invite us for beer; well I never know he was an alcoholic drinker, maybe he did change during his few years in Singapore. So why not? Then each of us grab a bottle of beer and continue our chit-chatting. Subsequently another friend of mine put forward a toast; “YUM SENG!!!”(That’s how Chinese people propose a toast) and of course each of us had a gulp of our beer to response his toast.

As I was drinking, I'm curious about my anonymous friend who had changed; at least that’s what I thought. He take up his bottle of beer, looking at it for a few seconds, then has a gulp of it and he looks fine. Yet the more he drank, the more I realize the change in his facial expression. For beer’s sake, his face is like someone being force to drink shit out of his own shithole. I couldn’t fight my curiosity to ask:

“So how was it?” I asked. He couldn’t answer as he is still drinking his beer with his forceful expression. “Eh brother take it slow, don’t try finishing the whole bottle in a gulp”.

Then he stopped, grasped a breathe and guesses what he responded?

“Nice!!”

I know. Speechless right? That’s just so lame, for beer’s sake, he was just having the hardest time drinking the most awful drink in his life and he think that he could cover his ‘fake’ perfectly with a typical “Nice!!”. That’s not cool my friend, that’s RETARDED.

All along, I’m not always a beer lover, and to be frank; I’ll rather pick a bottle of soda than a bottle of beer. Honestly, I had a bottle of Heineken with me hidden in my hostel; it had been a month now. Yet I didn’t bother to open it or finish it with a big gulp the way I always had in my hometown.

Maybe people do changes or maybe it’s just me that changed. Hopefully I need it just for celebration, and not for grieving over some girls ditching me.

Yes! You! Don’t ditch me already.