Kedah Trip (Part Three)

I know you guys have been longing for my update till your neck is as long as giraffe. Sorry for keeping you guys waiting, here it goes…and one more thing don’t be confuse with the date, this is no ‘back to the future’. Yes I admit I just uploaded it, but the fact is I had already finished writing this blog long time ago. Due to my extreme tight schedule, I just have the chance to upload it now; yet I still hope to retain the date I wrote this blog, so hereby I apologizes for any inconvenient (after all like you care, I know you don’t give a darn). So here it goes…

Where are we, let’s see…

Aha! After our video arcade ass kicking moment, the four travelers decided to waste spend their time with a movie. There aren’t many choices left; Final Destination 5 and another Bollywood film. Frankly speaking, I’m no fans of horror movie especially those that you can predict; or in this case, you knew the ending. I just don’t understand why people willing to pay to watch other die. But look who’s talking here, I picked FD5 rather than Bollywood film (I guess a normal Chinese will do the same, provided no choice).

And so we pay nine bucks each for a-movie-that-you-knew-the-ending. Before the show start, I heard people saying “Ending sure all die one”, “This show very wai (disgusting) one”, “FD5 like previous FD series only”, “Sure die in pieces one” and so on. I can’t help to wonder “Since you guys already know the story and the ending, what the point of watching?”

As predicted, the movie start with people dying, blood splashing here and there, people running fiercefully, people screaming for life, ambulance siren and sexy-gorgeous main actress. What attract me the most is none other than (of course sexy-gorgeous *ahem*) their creative way of dying. The ways they die are beyond your imaginary; knife, gun, rope and fire are just too old school. FD5 features really creative way of getting one killed, all new school method: Nascar crash, fall of bathtub kill, swimming pool sucker kill, mowing machine plus stone combo kill and last but not least my favorite; car auto-washing machine kill. That’s totally classic man! How can car auto-washing machine kill? Electric shock? Hand stuck in the machine roller? Inside car accident? No, no and no. It was far more classic, totally new school: drown inside the car kill. Just imagine how one can drown inside their very own car, and the killer is none other than the auto-washing machine. Creative huh? I guess that’s the main selling point of FD5.

Now here I really need to apologize to someone, my friend from Kedah (the one I texted earlier, let’s just give him a nick: Han). It’s totally a bad idea coming to the host's hometown and not meeting the host, which is my friend in this case. I know, I know you’ll compare. The thing is you are more warm-hearted in welcoming us to your hometown and I’m no way near warm-hearted status, so don’t compare. Anyhow Han arrived a bit late that day, and we had a tight schedule to pursue, that’s why we couldn’t spend much time with you at the mall. Instead, to Han hospitably, he brings us to some Kedah famous makan place.

I went there once last year and the soya drink there was fantastic, hence we went all the way there just to take a sip of Kedah famous soya. I guess the lyrics old proverb was right “when you want it the most, that's no easy way out” We went all the way just to have a stare at the closed stall.

With not much time left, we decided to eat there. We are all starving because earlier this morning we only had a typical fish ball noodle and McD. We save our appetite so long for the dinner; Kedah delicates. I ordered some egg oyster with fried rice for myself and Mr.K taking order for the girls while Han went to the western food corner. The fried rice is superb and Han’s western food look delicious too.

Then we take a look at Mr.K order, to be honest, we are shocked; not ordinary shock, is like million volts lightning multiple shock, those deadly type some more. Guess what, Mr.K ordered fish ball noodle! Yes freaking no kidding

F-I-S-H B-A-L-L N-O-O-D-L-E-S

Yes the one we had earlier on this morning so we can save our appetite for more Kedah delicates; well in this case the Kedah delicates would be referring to fish ball noodle. Han and I were having a shocking-wanna-laugh face but that cannot even compare with Bb face. No words can describe her face, no words; maybe there is one word to describe that: sibehtulan. I thought that FD6 will be screening earlier than I expected, staring Bb killing Mr.K with bowl of fish ball noodle or a pair of chopstick but sadly nothing happen. Bb ate her bowl of typical fish ball noodle silently.

Then Lbs ask me to order her a drink and by the way she drinks a lot, if compare to a cow, Lbs would be half of the cow. Honestly, I like Lbs command because she forever give a full-direct-instruction “Mels can you help me to ask for a Barley drink” with a pointed direction toward the uncle behind me. Human follows order pretty well, that’s why I guess I just turn around and tap the uncle in the shoulder. “Uncle, one more Barley please”, the uncle turn around with a bunch of lottery tickets in his hand. I was stunned, some five seconds stun. His face expression tells the entire story “What the frog man! Which part of me look like a waiter?” Thanks Lbs for getting me into this, and she didn’t even help me to explain, all Lbs did was laugh and laugh. The uncle keep asking me something in Hokkien, which sound like “You want lottery ticket, kid?”

Alas, we have to catch the last bus back to Kangar, I know it’s unfair to Han as he travel all the way up from his place to Alor Setar and we couldn’t stay long with him. The thing is I would sincerely like you to be around us from the very beginning, things are surely more merry-joyous with you around but too bad the timing went wrong and maybe I’m the one to blame. Anyhow we are able to board the last bus back to Kangar. We bid farewell to Han as he drive out all alone.

Everyone was sleeping in the bus but often smile can be seen on each other faces. I would say this is quite a successful trip.

The End (finally).